Missing You
by 2queens1prince
Summary: A series of snippets of Henry and Elizabeth missing each other. Rated T for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is the beginning of a series of snippets about Henry and Elizabeth missing each other. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to everyone who welcomed me back. This is the best fandom ever. Please let me know what you think of this one.

Elizabeth sat on the park bench waiting. She was supposed to meet her date here and together they would walk to the coffee shop down the road. The early November air was chillier than expected and she huddled down in her coat. She heard the thump echoing on the pavement and turned to see her date running up the path. He unceremoniously slid into the bench bumping her. She couldn't stop the smile that turned up the corners of her mouth.

"Sorry I'm running late. I went to vote and I had the wrong polling place, so then we had to try and figure out where I needed to be." His look was intense, full of remorse for making her wait and there was something else. His eyes were dark and seemed to be penetrating her soul. A wave of goosebumps washed over her entire body, definitely not caused by the cool weather, and she took a deep breath in an attempt to clear her mind.

"It's okay Henry. I was running a few minutes late myself." That was only a partial untruth. She had been running late by her own standards, but she still arrived at the park three minutes early.

"Before we go for coffee, would it be alright if we stopped by the civic center so I can vote?" Henry asked. Elizabeth nodded and stood.

"Did you already vote?" Henry asked.

"I mailed my ballot in absentee. I'm still registered at home, but I'd be happy to join you." she said. "Let's go." She took a couple steps and Henry fell in line beside her. They walked silently for half a block, when Elizabeth pulled her gloves from her pocket.

Henry looked over and when he saw what she was doing, he said, "How about I keep this one warm?" he said, engulfing her small hand in his large one, his thumb rubbing over her knuckles. Butterflies took up permanent residence in her stomach and she looked up at him wide eyed.

Panic flashed in Henry's eyes, like he'd moved too fast, and he attempted to let her hand go. Elizabeth quickly covered his hand, holding it in place. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Lizzie! Earth to Lizzie," a voice called across the breakfast table. The sound of the table being slapped echoed through the room. She snapped back to the present to find her brother, Will, and Aunt Joan staring at her.

"Uh sorry. I was just thinking about something. What were you saying?" Elizabeth took another bite of her eggs and looked at both her brother and her aunt.

A wide grin broke out across Will's face. "Lizzie has a crush on someone." He used a sing songy voice that made Elizabeth cringe.

"Stop it, Will," she said. When he continued, she shoved the last of her breakfast in her mouth and left the table.

Once in her room, she threw herself on her bed and groaned. She missed Henry so much and she felt silly, because she barely knew him. They had only been on three dates, the last one being just two days ago. Her fingers rested on her mouth, recalling the memory of Henry's lips against hers. A warmth enveloped her and she couldn't wait to see him again.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

"Henry. Henry?" Ruth McCord touched her son's shoulder and felt him jump as he came back to the present. "This is the third time today." She sat down across from him and pushed the cup of coffee in his direction. "What's going on that has you so deep in thought?" A knowing smile graced her lips. "A young woman, perhaps?"

Despite his attempts to remain even keeled, he blushed. He hated that she could read him so well. Henry was at a crossroads. Should he tell his mom, who would be overjoyed and start planning for grandchildren or should he deny it and have her pester him the rest of Thanksgiving break?

"I shouldn't be this hung up on someone that I only started dating a few weeks ago," Henry rubbed his hand over his bloodshot eyes. "But she's all I can think about. I can't sleep and the sleep I do get is filled with dreams of her.". Ruth watched as her son's face filled with alarm. "What if she doesn't like me as much as I like her. I mean, she's a freshman. I doubt she's not looking for something serious, And I'm leaving for the Marines next year. Who would want to wait that long? What am I doing?" Henry laid his head down on the table and groaned.

"Have you talked to her about it?" Ruth asked, gently.

"Literally Mom. We've been on three dates. That's not the kind of thing you bring up right away. What's your favorite color? Oh, by the way, I wonder if you'll want to wait six or so years for me while I serve our country." His look was pleading. "So, not cool. That would run her off for sure."

MSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Henry spent the rest of the weekend pondering his predicament. Should he tell Elizabeth that he was really serious about building a relationship, or should he try to keep it casual, knowing that his heart was in much deeper than that?

It was nearly 11 pm Sunday evening, when he trudged up the stairs to his apartment. His mother had insisted he stay for dinner and she loaded him down with more leftovers than he could ever possibly eat. He was thinking about calling Elizabeth in the morning to see if she would join him for dinner the following evening when he noticed the note taped to his door.

He flipped the folded paper open and immediately grinned. "No matter when you get home, please call and let me know that you're back safely." It was signed with a small heart with an E in the middle.

Quickly unlocking the door, he dropped his belongings on the couch and headed straight to the phone. It only rang once and she picked up. "Hello?"

"Elizabeth. It's-"

"Henry," she interrupted him. "It's going to sound crazy, but I really missed you the last few days. Would it be alright if I came over tonight?" Her words came tumbling out in a flurry.

Henry looked up at the clock. "But, it's 11."

"Yeah," she mumbled. He heard the disappointment in her voice.

"I would love it if you came over, but I don't want you out walking this late by yourself. Let me come to you," Henry offered.

"Really?" He could tell she was surprised.

"Yeah. I've thought about you all weekend. I need to see you."

"I'll be waiting by the door to let you in," she murmured and then her heard the click of the conversation being disconnected. Quickly, he tossed the leftovers into the fridge and headed back out into the late November cold.

Henry barely made the top step of the dorm porch when the door opened and when his eyes fell on Elizabeth, his heart leapt in his chest. Her smile was wide and her eyes brightly shining with tears.

"Hey, why the tears?" he asked as he wiped the tears away with his thumb and stepped into her embrace.

She shook her head against him. "It's dumb. We've only been out a few times. I hardly know you. I shouldn't have missed you so much. Right?" she asked, tilting her head to look up at him.

"You occupied every thought I had while I was away from you. I never want to let you go." Henry shocked himself with his honesty. He'd already decided that he wasn't going to tip his hand too soon for fear of scaring her away, but the look in her eyes and her statement propelled him forward. He squeezed her tight, his lips pressed to her hairline.

Finally, she stepped away and took him by the hand, silently leading him to her room. Once inside, she pushed the door closed. "Henry," she whispered, pulling his head down to meet hers and they kissed. While their first kiss, just a few days before, had been tentative and unsure, this one was fiery and commanding. It left both of them breathless as they pulled apart. Climbing into the middle of her bed, they sat and talked about their holidays and upcoming finals and plans for break.

It was well after midnight when Henry mentioned that he should leave, but Elizabeth didn't want him to go, nor did he. So, instead, she sneaked him down to the bathroom and guarded the door while he got ready for bed and then she sent him back to her room while she got ready.

They climbed into her twin bed together and after a fair amount of kissing and giggling and squirming around trying to get comfortable, they settled down with Elizabeth snuggled against Henry's chest, his one arm under the pillow and the other wrapped around her middle.

She listened as his breathing slowed and softened, letting sleep overcome him. It was then she let the tears fall, beginning to come to terms with the fact that the hole in her heart, created by her parents' death, the one that she thought would remain a gaping cavern, was in fact, being filled by Henry McCord.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for all of the kind words on the first chapter of this fic. It means the world to me.

Chapter 2

On his belly, pulling himself through the muddy water, Henry willed himself to continue. His body needed to function with robotic precision, immune to fatigue, immune to pain. It was a requirement to survive. Elizabeth resided in his thoughts in moments like these: her smiling face, her twinkling eyes, the golden tendrils framing her beautiful face. He could focus on her and separate himself from the physical trials he endured. Crawling from the water, he staggered to his feet and took off running, running into her arms, which always remained just out of reach.

It was late Saturday afternoon. The recruits finished their afternoon drills and had all had a shower. There was an anticipation in the air. The guys all knew the routine by now. A shadow appeared in the doorway and the entire room went silent instantly. Ten minutes later, Henry sat at the end of his bunk in total despair. The drill sergeant just handed out the week's mail and there was nothing for him. Elizabeth had promised she would write every week, but had already told him two weeks ago that she wouldn't be able to get a letter to him the following week because she was traveling with her aunt, but this week he thought he should get something. Yet, nothing.

He was sure there was probably a reasonable explanation. She was busy, or the mail ran late, but in the back of his mind was the constant worry that she had decided that waiting on a military man wasn't what she wanted to do.

"Hey, McCord!" The baritone voice rang out through the barracks. Henry looked up, not really caring what the burly Tony McAllister had to rib him about today. "Seems like your letter got stuck to mine." He surveyed Henry. "Normally I'd give you shit about looking like a lost puppy, but even I can see that you need this." He tossed the letter to Henry, who snatched it up and stood, headed away from the other guys.

"Thanks Tony," he mumbled, before scuttling off out the door. Finding a quiet spot around the corner, Henry leaned against the building and tore open the envelope, pulling the letter from inside. He pressed it to his nose, inhaling deeply, hoping to catch just the slightest scent of her.

_My dearest Henry,_

_I wish I could tell you fabulous stories of my many adventures trekking across France, Switzerland, and Italy, but I didn't really have any. Everything I did, I imagined us doing together, and it made me miss you more. _

He read about the different things she saw on her travels and she promised that they would go together when he was out of the Marines. Then read slower, hoping to make the words last a little longer, to keep her voice in his head.

_I love you more than the stars in the sky, and I can't wait to see you again. It will only be three more weeks until we're together. I'm so proud of you Henry and I'll always wait for you._

_Love, E_

Henry stared at the letter a few minutes longer before folding it up and tucking it into his jacket. He sniffed back his tears and headed toward the mess hall for dinner. Only three more weeks.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Elizabeth should have been ecstatic about her summer. Joan was taking her and Will on a ten day trip across Europe. She would have an excellent opportunity to use the French she'd been taking in college, as well as seeing some of the most beautiful historic sites in the world.

However, Henry was across the world at boot camp and he could have no contact with her. She wrote him often, sometimes more than once a day, but she never mailed most of the letters. They conveyed such deep loneliness and longing. She didn't want to burden Henry with knowing just how much his absence affected her, so she threw those away and sent the one or two happiest versions each week.

The summer had moved at a snail's pace and she wasn't sure boot camp would ever end. She was happy when classes finally resumed. That gave her something to focus on besides Henry. Study had always been her best coping mechanism, and she quickly fell back into a pattern of study as avoidance.

Mid-September finally arrived and Elizabeth paced back and forth across Henry's childhood bedroom. She couldn't believe that she had agreed to accompany Ruth and Patrick to Henry's boot camp graduation. She had come on Saturday and they were flying out of Pittsburgh on Monday morning. It was a rough couple of days. Patrick had already been incredibly rude and hurtful. Of course, Ruth lit into Patrick.

As much as she loved Ruth, it annoyed Elizabeth that Ruth always stepped in and defended her. It seemed to further exacerbate Patrick's disdain for her. His current fixation was her recent trip to Europe with Aunt Joan and Will. It wasn't exactly her fault that Joan was a flight attendant and received heavily discounted airline tickets. She smirked. But then, he hadn't said anything when she was able to get all three of them tickets to fly out to San Diego for Henry's graduation for less than one ticket would normally cost.

It was almost 13 weeks ago that she put Henry on a plane to go to boot camp. She hoped that he received all of her letters. Elizabeth always ended with a profession of her love and promise that she missed him and would always wait for him. As hard as it was for her to confront her emotions and put them into words, she hoped that those letters provided him some kind of solace and reminder of her love.

Elizabeth knew Henry's love was true, but there was always a thought that embedded itself in the back of her mind. _What if he found someone else? What if he decided to go a different direction and she wasn't part of that?_ Elizabeth shook her head, trying to physically rid herself of those thoughts. They weren't productive.

She steeled herself and headed back downstairs to help with dinner and spend an evening watching baseball and swallowing Patrick's slights. Tomorrow, if everything went according to plan, she would be in Henry's arms by nightfall.

The flight was delayed and Patrick blamed the cheap tickets instead of the torrential downpour in Pittsburgh. They finally made it, a couple hours later than scheduled and rented a car to get to the base. With only a few wrong turns and a lot of curse words, Elizabeth was in the bleachers watching her beloved. She wasn't even sure he would know she was there, but as soon they were allowed to break rank, the men dispersed and Henry moved straight toward his family.

He grasped Elizabeth's hand and held on to it, while he reached out to hug his mom and shake his father's hand. Then he turned to Elizabeth and she stepped into his arms and buried her face into his neck. "I missed you," she mumbled, willing the tears to stay unshed.

"You couldn't possibly have missed me more than I missed you," he whispered. He tilted her head back and kissed her. Every bit of tension, longing and worry that had been held by the both of them seeped away, and they knew their fears of losing each other were unfounded.

That night after a long dinner and visiting with Henry's parents, they finally made it back to their hotel room. Henry shed his dress blues and showered. When he emerged from the bathroom, Henry found Elizabeth standing at the window staring out. "Babe?" He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I know that you weren't really in danger, but I couldn't help but to worry about you. I know the time will soon come when that worry is legitimate. You will be places that are dangerous and you may not come home Henry." Elizabeth's hand covered her mouth to stifle the sob that wanted to escape.

Henry turned Elizabeth to face him and held her close. "I can't predict the future, but I will always try my hardest to make it back to you. I never want to be anywhere else. You have my heart. You are my home."

"And you are mine," she whispered. Tipping her head back, she silently asked him to kiss her. He obliged, and as the kiss turned from comforting to passionate, he pushed away to meet her gaze.

He was going to tell her that he loved her, but in that moment, her eyes meeting his, those words seemed so inadequate. Instead, he pressed his forehead to hers and held her there trying to come up with a way to calm her fears. "You and I are meant to be together. Our love knows no bounds and no matter where I end up, someway, somehow, I will find my way back to you, and I will make sure you are never alone again." Although there wasn't any way he could guarantee that promise, he truly felt that he would make it happen somehow, and he could tell that Elizabeth clung to that hope as well.

She pushed up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around Henry's neck, hugging him tight, before she tilted her head to kiss him. Relaxing into the kiss, she moved him toward the bed. "This has been a long time coming," Elizabeth said, giggling as she pulled him down with her.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: The MSec fandom has to be one of the best. That is all.

Chapter 3

"Bess! Bess! Bess!" the group chanted as Elizabeth slammed her third tequila shot in a row. The room swam around her and she started to slide off the barstool, catching herself just in time. Juliet and Isabelle erupted into hysterics.

It was a feat that the women were able to get Elizabeth drunk, and they were enjoying themselves immensely. It wasn't that she didn't drink. She drank socially quite often. In fact, most of the time, she could drink them all under the table. Elizabeth just knew how to pace herself. She never drank more than one drink every 45 minutes. She could double up on beer, but never hard liquor, bourbon was preferred, and tequila was never her friend.

Tonight, however, on the night of her 24th birthday, she had succumbed and broken all of her own rules. She still considered herself a newlywed. In their 15 months of marriage, she and Henry had only spent three weeks together before he was deployed to Iraq. They talked as often as they could, but today, his absence weighed on her heavily. In her desperate attempt to escape the loneliness she felt each night, Elizabeth accepted Isabelle's invitation to take her barhopping. In true Elizabeth fashion, she excelled at whatever she set her mind to.

Around 2 am, she stumbled out of the bar and into a taxi. After a couple minutes, she was able to produce her driver's license at the request of the cab driver, so he could get an accurate address. Riding through the winding streets, Elizabeth lay her head against the window and looked up at the stars. Her only thought was that Henry couldn't even see them, as it would be close to noon there. They were _that_ far apart-seemingly not even in the same universe. She pushed that thought to the edges of her mind and turned her attention to focusing her vision so she could make it up the steps to her apartment and to bed.

After being dropped off, Elizabeth spent some time sitting on the sidewalk in front of the apartment building with the contents of her purse dumped between her legs as she searched for her keys. Shoving things back into it, she finally climbed the steps, opened the outer door, and shuffled down the hall to their apartment.

Turning the key in the lock, she fell through the doorway and barely caught herself before careening into the back of the chair in their living room. Elizabeth stood still for a moment, gripped the back of the chair, and waited for the room to stop spinning. She closed the door and then made her way to the couch, flopping face down, immediately regretting the quick movement.

Grasping wildly for a throw pillow, Elizabeth's hand landed on Henry's UVA sweatshirt, the one that she kept on the back of the couch. Recognition cut through the drunken fog and she pulled the sweatshirt to her chest and the tears started flowing.

Henry said she would never be alone, yet she felt very alone in that moment. Her birthday came and went without notice of her family. The anniversary of her parents' death was coming up, her husband was in the middle of a war, her brother was across the country in medical school and she couldn't keep track of where Aunt Joan was-not at home-of that much, she was sure. Isabelle and Juliet were her friends, and most of the time that was enough, but not tonight.

Elizabeth awoke the next morning. Without even moving, her stomach was churning and her head pounding. She was so cold. She forced her eyes open and found herself looking at the base of the toilet. "That explains a lot," she said, startled by her own hoarse and gravelly voice. She pushed herself up, and that action alone, caused her to aim her face at the open bowl and empty her stomach contents once again. She wasn't sure how long she sat against the side of the tub, but she was strangely comforted by the idea that focusing on her physical condition gave her a break from missing Henry.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Elizabeth lay on top of Henry, her legs still bent, tucked up and pressed against his side. "I should go clean up," she said, not moving.

"Don't. Stay," he murmured, turning his head, kissing the bridge of her nose. He ran his hands up her back, still slick with the perspiration of sexual exertion. She giggled when his fingertips grazed her sides, squirming against the tickling sensation. They lay there like that, and Henry finally began to relax. Suddenly, it wasn't sweat that had covered her back. It was thick and sticky. Holding his hand up, he saw blood, and Elizabeth's weight pressed down on him, her breath gone. Panicked, he tipped her head back and saw her lifeless eyes staring back at him. She was dead.

Henry's eyes shot open and his breathing was heavy. At some point he'd kicked off the blanket and he was shivering. Pushing himself up in the bunk, he sighed and tried to get his breathing back under control. "It was just a dream," he mumbled, barely audible, so as not to wake those around him. He scrubbed his hand over his face, and the now all too familiar feel of sandy grit seemed to rub him raw.

Henry swung his feet to the floor and grabbed his pants from the end of the bunk and started to put them on. Standing, he pulled them up and made his way out of the tent. It was a full moon and everything seemed illuminated beyond what it should be, almost just like a cloudy day, not that they'd had many of those during his stint here in Iraq.

"Nightmare?" A voice came from his right and Henry turned to find his friend, Jerry, sitting on a crate near the end of the tent.

"Yeah," Henry said. This had become a ritual, one that you hated, but somehow found comfort in. Jerry always dreamed that something happened to his kids or his dog, but never his ex-wife. Henry once dreamed that his mother fell ill, but he'd somehow turned that around in his mind and made it be okay. That was not the case with his dreams about Elizabeth. They were always terrifying nightmares in which he woke up feeling ill and unsettled. Tonight was no exception.

"Smoke?" Jerry asked, and offered the pack up to Henry. Henry had never smoked a cigarette until he came to Iraq, and he didn't much now. They were reserved for sitting in the dark with Jerry. Sometimes they talked, but mostly they just smoked and he prayed that Elizabeth was well and that they would be okay once he made it home. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be here in Iraq, but he had four more years in the Marines. That seemed like an eternity.

He sat down. "Please." He took the cigarette and the lighter Jerry offered. Lighting it, he took a long drag and held it. Releasing the smoke, he looked over at his friend. "I'll buy the next pack. I think I've bummed enough off of you." Jerry nodded, affirming that this middle of the night smoking session to calm their nerves was now, indeed, ritual. It wouldn't end until they made it back home. Or didn't.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

The C-130 cargo plane did not offer a luxurious ride. Truthfully, Henry was sure he'd still be feeling vibrations from the 12 hour flight in the coming weeks. But, he hadn't given it a second thought when he snatched the opportunity to come home a week earlier by taking the cargo plane back to Quantico.

Henry had tried not to focus too much on the home part. He just needed to get there, but now as the wheels touched down, and he knew that Elizabeth would be there waiting for him, there was a pressure in his chest that he'd never known before. So much had changed in the eighteen months he'd been gone. Elizabeth had moved them to DC. She started a job at the CIA. She'd made friends, people he only knew by name. He wasn't part of her daily life anymore. He had gone off to war. He'd fought for his country. He'd lost people that were like brothers to him. He'd seen things. He'd done things-things he hadn't quite reconciled. All of that was going to have to be dealt with, sooner than later.

He'd heard of elaborate homecomings, with banners and cheering, but his would be different, and he was thankful. Henry didn't want to be celebrated. He just needed Elizabeth. The plane taxied to the hangar and stopped a hundred yards away. After the final checks, he was given permission to deplane. He focused on descending the narrow stairs as anticipation continued to build. When he reached the bottom, he looked around and no one could be seen other than a few mechanics off to his far right.

Slinging his duffle over his shoulder, he made his way to the hangar. Stepping through the opening, he still didn't see her. Closing his eyes, he inhaled and under the diesel and oil smells, the smell of sweaty mechanics and rubber, was her. Elizabeth was here. Opening his eyes, she stepped out from behind a parked Jeep. "How's my Maverick?" she asked, her eyes glistening with tears.

Henry dropped his bag, and crossed the spanse, sweeping her into his arms. "I told you I'd come back." They held each other for a long time before he separated himself enough to tip her head back. He kissed her, gently at first, tentatively even, unsure of how it would go. She returned the kiss in equal measure and he felt a fresh wave of her tears meet his cheeks and he allowed himself to let go.

When they finally arrived at the apartment, Henry took a shower, unpacking the necessary items from his bag, leaving the rest for later. He called his parents to let them know he was home and that they would be up to Pittsburgh to see them the following weekend. The phone call seemed to take forever, and he was exhausted when he was finished. His body sagged down into the couch and he closed his eyes. He was almost asleep when he felt her lips on his forehead. "Come, babe, you need to go to bed," she murmured. She stepped back and tugged on his hand. He followed her into the bedroom.

After brushing his teeth, Henry crawled into bed, Elizabeth following soon after. They lay side by side staring at the ceiling for a few minutes. Elizabeth rolled over to look at Henry. When he turned to look at her in the shadows cast by the streetlights outside, he was confused by her expression. He wasn't sure what she was thinking. She whispered, "Do you think you could hold me? I-I just-" she stopped.

Henry turned in to face her. "Of course. What's going on?"

She sighed, "I just felt so alone. I need to know you are here-at least for a little while." He didn't hesitate, moving closer and gathering her in his arms.

"I am here. I hate that I have to leave, but I will always make it back to you Elizabeth."


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Happy Saturday! Hope you enjoy this new contribution. Let me know.

Chapter 4

Henry sat at the small desk that was his office space and watched Elizabeth from across the room. She sat on the floor with Jason in her lap, helping him play Candy Land with Stevie and Ali. Other than the rather tired expression that Elizabeth always seemed to have now, Henry wondered if an outsider would know. If someone snapped a picture in this moment, could the cavernous space between them be seen? He thought that was surely the case.

They finished the game and cleaned up. Elizabeth stood, holding their son by the hand. "I'm going to give Jace a bath. Can you make sure the girls get ready for bed and don't play around?" Henry nodded and immediately stood. Did she realize that he was now at her beck and call. The times she spoke directly to him were so rare now. He wouldn't take the chance of her withdrawing the few words she did say by not getting an immediate response.

As he set out the girls' pajamas and pulled the book from the shelf that they were reading together, he asked himself the same question that he'd asked everyday for the past 8 months. _Will she ever forgive me?_ That question was always immediately followed by _Do I deserve forgiveness?_ Henry wasn't sure. He thought he'd been in the right in the first place and he could see now where that got him.

He was so hurt and angry when Elizabeth came home with the Station Chief job offer. She seemed like she was excited to do it. She wanted to leave her family and go sit in the cesspool of Al-Qaeda operatives and make sure their interrogations were conducted fairly. Ethically, he got it and he was on board with her position. But from a former Marine standpoint, he didn't give a shit whether or not those bastards were tortured. He'd been there in the 90s. He'd lost friends at the Pentagon on 9/11 and two high school classmates at the Twin Towers. Elizabeth acted like he didn't know what was at stake. He knew it all too well. He just didn't think that the cause was worth sacrificing his wife over.

He had told her as much. Even though she had said so, he didn't think she would really quit. Of course, now looking at it more objectively, he knew his wife wouldn't give. She wouldn't work for an organization that she believed was morally compromised. He wouldn't ask her to, but he had taken her avenue for fixing it, so she quit. Elizabeth quit her job, but it also felt like she quit on them. He couldn't believe that they could be in such close proximity physically, and so distant emotionally. That was the part he hadn't seen coming, and now that it happened, he had no idea how to span the gap, to get them back. So, they just existed in the same space, and it was more painful than he could have ever imagined.

Elizabeth sent a freshly bathed Jason into the girls' room to read with Henry while she cleaned up the kitchen and prepared for the next day. When he came downstairs, she breezed past him with a load of laundry to be washed, leaving him standing alone in the kitchen. By the time he finished his grading and packed his briefcase for the next day, she was already in bed, her back to him.

Silently, he got ready for bed and climbed in, pulling the blankets over him. He wondered if they would ever get back what they had because he missed her so deeply.

Much to his surprise, she broke the silence, replying, "I miss you too, and I'm scared because I don't know if we will." She pulled herself out of bed and quickly put her robe on. Before Henry could speak, she picked up her pillow and disappeared from the room, leaving Henry shocked that his words had been spoken and feeling bereft, knowing she held no more hope than he did.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Elizabeth removed the blanket from the back of the couch and shook it out before laying down and covering herself with it. She wondered how she and Henry got to this point. How did they not stop and try to repair their relationship before it got so bad? But even as the thought materialized, she knew the answer. Elizabeth had been so distraught, she completely shut Henry out.

She remembered in the days and weeks after she quit the CIA, Henry tried to talk to her, to apologize, to reach out, and she had shut him down at every turn. At the time, she'd been so angry, hurt, and scared that she couldn't talk to Henry. As time passed, the anger faded and was replaced with indifference. Getting nothing from Elizabeth, Henry stepped away, withdrawing from her.

Similar to the way she'd handled the death of her parents, Elizabeth turned inward. Walling her emotions up deep inside, Elizabeth constructed a fake exterior. She carried on, telling anyone who asked that she decided she needed to spend more time with the kids while they were young. She was taking some time off. No one knew any different, no one except her husband. He saw the damage done. Henry had been the one to tear down her walls the first time. He definitely recognized what was happening as they were rebuilt. He just felt powerless to stop it.

Elizabeth ducked under the blanket, hiding herself and the loneliness overtook her. Knowing that Henry felt the same way was devastating. Where did this leave them? Hopelessness crept in and the tears followed.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Henry heard her crying from the bedroom and instinctively went to her. If he had taken the time to think about it, he might have buried his head under his pillow and ignored it. However, he had spent the better part of twenty years wiping those tears. He could no longer pretend they didn't exist, just like he couldn't pretend he wasn't the cause.

Before either of them could stop themselves, Henry had slid in beneath Elizabeth and had her cradled against him, holding her close. "Why are you here?" she choked out in stuttered sobs.

"I've let you feel like you are alone for far too long. It's time we fix this. I don't know the words to say, but I can hold you while you grieve and wipe your tears and support you while you figure out what's next. I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

She immediately threw her arms around his neck and clung to him. No words were spoken, but he carried her to their bed and held her all night. The next morning, she came downstairs late, finding the house empty. There was an omelet with a still warm cup of coffee sitting next to it. Under the edge of the plate, she found a note. Opening it, she smiled.

_I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix us. I love you always. Hank_

Elizabeth laughed. She hated the nickname Hank, which the Marine guys had given him, back in the day. He only used that name when he was being cute and wanted to annoy her.

It was nice to feel something other than alone and sad. Maybe this was the turning point. She decided to make it be. They were going to be ok.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: This is the last one. Thanks for tagging along.

Chapter 5

Elizabeth paced the back of the situation room before finally slumping into the chair next to the President. "Don't be a hero, Henry. Just go in there, talk to the guy and get out." Only a month had passed since the attempted coup in Iran. When she suggested to the president, that Henry talk to the cult leader, Reverend Wesley Finch, she had no intention of him doing it face to face. It was simple. Pick up the phone. Call Finch. Chat. Smooth things over. Get him to release the Senator. Then, suddenly, Conrad has him on a plane. He was going there-in person. It would be okay. He was going to be wired. He was going in with protection.

God love Henry. He wanted to save the cult members from themselves. He ended up going in alone and unarmed. The anxiety flowed through her veins crowding out the oxygen filled blood. The longer she watched the live footage from outside the compound, the harder it became to breathe. Starting to get light headed, at one point she had to turn away, and then suddenly it all went down and Henry was being held at knife-point, then he was out of the camera shot. Moments passed. They heard gunshots.

"Cardinal! We need a visual on Cardinal." Seconds crept by like hours. Elizabeth couldn't breathe, the panic rose up in her uncontrollably. "We got him! Cardinal is secure!" the scratchy voice came through the speaker. People around her cheered. She watched as the soldiers walked him out of the compound. He looked okay, but that wasn't enough. He was too far away, and she needed him beside her.

Elizabeth wasn't sure how she made it through the rest of that, but later, she found herself sitting on the bathroom floor with her head between her knees. "In, two, three. Out, two, three." Over and over, for what seemed like an eternity, until finally her heart wasn't beating through her chest. She could breathe again, kind of, at least physically.

She paced her office until news came that the Americans, along with her husband, were on a plane bound for home. Unable to stand it any longer she had her motorcade brought around and she went home. If she was going to be on edge, she could at least do laundry at the same time.

Of course, no laundry was actually done. She sat on the end of the bed, twisting her rings around her left ring finger. What would she do if she ever lost him? It was different when she went to Iran. She foolishly thought she would be in control of the situation. But afterwards, she came to the realization that she controlled so little. She could lose anyone at anytime. Her title meant nothing. The power she wielded was useless. Henry could be coming home in a body bag just like some of those cult followers.

Elizabeth shuddered, then stood to leave the room. She couldn't breathe in here. She needed Henry. She was going to the airport.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Henry shrank back against the seat in the plane, sick to his stomach. The adrenaline had worn off and he was coming to terms with what had happened. 37 people dead. They were dead because he didn't quite finish the job. The senator had been rescued, but Finch was dead and 36 followers had believed him and took their own lives. Henry hung his head.

Then there was Elizabeth. His heart ached for her. She was still dealing with the fallout from Iran and now this. He could see the current of terror running behind her eyes as she kissed him goodbye. Thankfully she hadn't seen everything that went on in the compound. That would have sent her into a panic attack for sure.

Henry looked out the window, willing them to fly faster, get home sooner. He felt like Elizabeth needed him, and God knew he needed her. He wouldn't be able to settle down until she was in his arms.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Matt and Frank had a fit when she told them to take her to Andrews. An open space full of people who might hold a grudge when they found out their loved ones weren't walking off the plane sounded perfectly safe. They were ready to tell her she had to wait in the SUV, that they would bring Henry to her, but she gave them the look. It was the look that said she was going to do it anyway, that they either needed to fall in line or back the hell off.

Occasionally, she wondered what would happen if they chose to stand up to her. Today wasn't that day, so she dismissed the thought. She hung back against the back wall until people started getting off the plane. Only then did she move up, pushing up on her toes, hoping to catch a glimpse.

Then he was in front of her and they hugged. She could breathe again. Elizabeth stopped to give condolences to the father who had started this whole thing, and lamented that he'd saved a hundred lives, but not the one he desperately wanted to.

On the ride home, Elizabeth and Henry clung to each other, but it wasn't until the privacy of their bedroom that she peeled his shirt back and ran his fingers carefully down his neck.

"What are you doing?" he asked, stilling her hand.

"Just making sure that you're really okay." Elizabeth pressed kisses to his collarbone, where the knife had rested.

Henry stiffened. "How did you-?"

"I watched the whole thing in the sit room." She looked at him curiously as he wrinkled his face and then frowned as the realization washed over him.

"I didn't know. Babe, I'm sorry. Are you okay? You must have been-"

"I'm fine." She cut him off, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. "You're back and you're safe and that's what's important."

"There was a moment when I thought I might not be. If I thought it, I know you did too, and I'm sorry." Henry held Elizabeth closer in is arms. "Deep inside, I knew I had to make it back to you. I'd miss you too much if I didn't."

"If you don't mind, I'd like you to stay close. Missing you shouldn't be on my agenda for a while." With that, she tipped her head back and pulled his head down so their lips could meet.

"Roger that," he said, pushing her toward the bed, knowing they had some catching up to do.


End file.
